Josh

media type="file" key="LevinJOralCom.m4a" Peer editor: John G.

Knowledge and Understanding of Extract: 5 The commentary demonstrates a solid understanding of Gordimer's work. Although the introduction is unnecessary, you show the passage's relevance to the prevalent themes of self-awareness, race relations, and assimilation. Also, when you explain the context of the passage, you are almost explaining the content of the actual passage rather than its surroundings.

Interpretation and Personal Response: 7-8 Almost all of your interpretation is valid. You explain how Gordimer uses the passage to mock Maureen's false liberalism as well as present the themes that I previously mentioned to contribute to her comment on the situation in South Africa. However, the idea of Maureen as a foil to Gordimer might be a stretch in that a foil is typically (most likely always?) a contrasting image of another CHARACTER, not the author. You do mention that Maureen is the epitome of the anti-Gordimer, which is true.

Presentation: 6 You tie everything you say back to general themes and Gordimer's comments, but there is generally no logical order, minus the flow of the passage. This is fine, but it may be more effective to use grouping.

Use of Language: 4 Your language is accurate, clear, and precise. You also are very aware of Gordimer's diction and tone, but you do not associate them to her. You mention the moods of Lydia and Maureen, but really this all goes back to the author. Also, you must include more analysis of Gordimer's sentence structure.

Peer Editor: Ilya Kavalerov

Knowledge and Understanding of Extract: 5 Good commentary overall. I like how you start off with a sort of “bigger-picture” introduction, yet when you give the context of the passage, I don’t think you focus enough on the book that is around the passage. You do address how Maureen changes though, which is good, and you address the themes that we discussed in class, illustrating that you successfully analysed the passage.

Interpretation and Personal Response: 6 There is plenty of interpretation, but I don’t happen to agree with all of it. The themes are ace, but the part about Maureen being a foil to the author, I don’t think that’s right. As I remember, we discounted that idea in class.

Presentation: 8 Logical procession of comments down the passage, and your commentary is based around your analysis just like it should be.

Use of Language: 3 I suppose your language is good, but nothing too shocking. I think you should spend more time talking about what Gordimer creates with her diction or tone. Talk about the purpose of these literary features next time, not just the fact that they exist.